Chapter 2.9

Hey everybody and welcome back to Herping and Derping! I’m sorry this chapter has taken me so long; as I said before, I’m back in school, and I’ve also been spending most of my time reorganizing my custom content since installing Supernatural, so I’ve had little time to play or write.

Let’s see if I haven’t forgotten what’s going on with my favorite family.

Cuddles & Dutchman: *distracted by twu luv*
Oh, that’s right, Dutchman was once again preggers. And she looks really cute preggers. ❤

Cuddles: Dutchman, have I told you lately that I love you?
Dutchman: Cuddles, are you a hopeless romantic by any chance? *giggles* YES, YES HE IS AND BOY DOES IT SHOW.
Let the vomit fest ensue. Unless of course this kind of mushy lovey crap is your kind of thing. If it is, then feel free to squee.

More googly eyes… but wait.

My sister was in the room and saw me while I was taking these pictures, took one look at Dutchman, and said “woah, she’s got some big ones”.
XD Gotta love family amiright?

Dutchman: I spy with my little eye… readers. Lots and lots of readers.
You sure about that Dutchie? I’d be surprised if anybody is still out there, with as long as I’ve had them waiting for a chapter.
Dutchman: Better not tell Cuddles that. He’d be disappointed if his fangirls disappeared.
Noted. On that note… you aren’t jealous about how Cuddles flirts with the fangirls?
Dutchman: Not at all. It’s not like there’s any way for them to get ahold of his pixelated package. Besides, even if they could – we’re your OTP. Nobody’ll come between us.
Well, can’t argue with that logic.

Lysk: Hey Beary boy! Who’s a good boy, who’s a good boy?! You’re a good boy! Yes you are, yes you are!
Bear: What is wrong with this man?
Well, he might be suffering from withdrawal from lack of plasma. Or he may just be crazy.

Bear: Best to be leaving, then. Dutchman will protect me. *walks away*
Lysk: H-hey! Where are you going, boy? Come back!

Are you okay Lysk? You seem sad.
Lysk: I think Goober’s going to break up with me. ;_;
Why would she do that?
Lysk: I think she’s pissed about the whole running away thing that I did last chapter. She’s been acting kind of weird lately.
I’m sure it’ll be fine. *pat pat*

Whereas Goober and Lysk are apparently having relationship problems although Lysk is probably just being a baby like usual, Dutchman and Cuddles are in the middle of one of their infamous lovey dovey sessions.

Cuddles: Dutchman, I love you as many times over as there are stars in the sky. Beat that!

Dutchman: Are you counting just the ones that we can see from here or all of them?
Cuddles: Er, there’s a difference?

Dutchman: Doesn’t matter, I’ll still beat you. I love you as many times as there are atoms in the universe! Hah!
Yeah, you can’t do much better than that Cuddles.

Dutchman: Since we’re talking about stars… do you want to step out from under the terrace to get a better look?
Cuddles: You read my mind, Preggo.
Dutchman: Watch it Cuddles.

Cuddles: Okay, I’m sorry I called you Preggo. Do you forgive me?

I’d take that as a yes.

Gah, I just love these two. ❤

Later that night, Chum was potty trained. 😛 Yay for Chummy!

There were two more important developments made that night:

Firstly, Chip felt the need to fake being straight, so started a committed relationship with Lily-Bo Chique. I doubt it will last, but if it makes him happy, then I approve.

Also, Used Napkin and Rags are expecting and are going baby shopping. ❤

Lysk is working out, as per usual… you’d have thought he’d have maxed that skill by now with those vampiric super-powers of his.

Does anybody else just stalk their pregnant sims? Or is it just me? I feel really creepy but… she’s so cute. *_* I love her bump. That seems weird but oh well.

Chum continues to show us that she’s a super baby.

Goober: So, since you’ve knocked me up and moved into my house, I think we need to have a talk.
Lysk: (Oh shit, she’s breaking up with me. How can I distract her?!)

Goober: I was thinking – mmrflplepmmml.

Goober: *pants* What are you doing? Not that I dislike kissing you, but it seems like you’re trying to change the subject…
Lysk: What? Me? Noooo! Just showing you how much I love you dear. 😀

Goober: Oh okay. Well I was going to talk with you about something really important just a few seconds ago…
Lysk: (Oh shit here it comes.)

Lysk: Do we have to do this now, with the baby coming so soon? I mean can’t this wait? ;_;
Goober: Relax, what’s your problem? This will only take a second, I promise.

Lysk: What-? What are you doing?

Lysk: What the-?

Lysk: Wait, you’re proposing? I accept! Nothing would make me-
Goober: Would you just give me a damn minute to say the words?!

Goober: Lysk Amino, would you stop being such a big crybaby and marry me?

Lysk: Yes yes yes, of course!

Goober: (I thought I may have been wrong before, but nope. I definitely wear the pants in this relationship.)
Lysk: *fangirl squeals*

Lysk: I love you so much, Goob.

Goober: I love you too, Lysk.

Lysk: We’ll be a perfect family, you, me, and the baby. Hell, we should just get married right now! Why wait?
Goober: You really think so?
Lysk: Sure, let’s do it!

Meanwhile, one floor down, Dutchman woke up to a familiar feeling.

Dutchman: Cuddles, wake up. I think the baby’s coming.

Cuddles: What? The lady’s drumming?

Dutchman: No! The baby’s coming!

The pop up confirms it! No false labor pains for Dutchman, it’s the real deal. XD

Cuddles: Okay, it’s cool Dutchman, we’ve done this before. Just breathe and everything will be fine. I can go get your sister if you want.
I don’t think she’ll be coming, she’s kind of in the middle of something right now…

Maybe Lysk will finally feel secure in his relationship now. Although probably not.

Back downstairs, Dutchman and Cuddles were having a hard time with it all.

Cuddles: Dutchie, are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?!
Dutchman: Just shut up Cuddles, you’re making things wor- ow ow ow!!!

Cuddles: I don’t remember it being this hard last time!!!! Why is it so hard this time?!
Dutchman: You weren’t THERE most of last time!!!

Cuddles: It wasn’t my fault though… ;_;
Dutchman: Just SHUT UP Cuddles!!!
Cuddles: *feelings are hurt* Man I am so over this Dutchman in labor thing.

He’s trying. But after he started going through the motions of labor with Dutchman, I’m not at liberty to say what profanities came out of her mouth at that point. XD

It was an incredibly long and painful process, and a big part of the reason that Dutchman and Cuddles decided they wouldn’t have any more children together after this one.

Seriously, this went on a long time. Poor Dutchman.

Eventually Cuddles couldn’t even think of anything else to do for Dutchman.

Dutchman: *in terrible pain*
Cuddles: *bored*

In between contractions, Cuddles even had the nerve to go back to bed. XD
Dutchman: He’s dead when this is over.

Come on little Derpington baby! Just pop out already!!!

Finally the process was ending.
Cuddles: ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzz
Dutchman: HE’S. SO. DEAD.

Bear: *in right corner of shot* It’s a boy!
Yep, that’s right, it’s a boy. Because we’re all a bit sick and tired of girls after the estrogen-filled generation 2, eh?

Dutchman: Wow you were a pain in the ass. But I love you anyway.

So much so that she impales him with her ghost hand. Probably sending chills through his tiny body.

Meet Sheldon Derpington everybody! Named after Sheldon J. Plankton, owner of the Chum Bucket, of course! Although with his neurotic trait he may end up more like an outdoorsy Sheldon Cooper… He’s reminding me of many of my biology professors with those traits, actually.

Dutchman: I’m never doing that again. Ever.
We’ll see, Dutchie. We’ll see.

Cuddles: Somehow, I was expecting something more climactic. Like he would pop out with three heads or something.
If you keep this up, you really will be murdered in your sleep by Dutchman.

Since there isn’t much room in the nursery because I stuffed every corner with clutter Sheldon’s stationed in Dutchman and Cuddle’s room. He has a cute little shark toy to keep him company. 🙂

Goober: We really need to get an indoor kitchen…
I couldn’t agree with you more. The longer you guys live here, the more I dislike this house’s design. D:

…But not as much as I hate the design on Cuddles’ lab coat. XD Wow, is that what they make them wear? I mean I’m a freaking dish washer for the biology department at my school and they don’t make me wear anything so ridiculous, just the standard white. XD
Cuddles: The crazier the pattern, the higher the position.
Whatever you say buddy.

I think I made him feel inadequate, because after that he went about bought the facility. This also showcases how ridiculously rich this family is after only 3 generations.

She seems really excited about being a mother, which for some reason is kind of surprising to me. With her inappropriate trait, I guess I always think of her as being a little immature but I guess that that would be more with childish sims…
Anyway, she’ll be popping very soon.

Speaking of mothers, Dutchman is a good one. She’s always making sure that Chum and Sheldon have everything that they need.
Dutchman: I just don’t want them to cannibalize me in a future zombie uprising.
Remember kids: good parenting is only ever to prevent apocalypse-induced cannibalism (and sometimes it can’t even prevent it).

Wha? Wait, what? Why are we going to France.
I think Cuddles got some fool’s errand that popped up in his special opportunities, and I thought hey, why not.
Plus I was tired in being in that house that’s jam-packed with Sims at the moment.

Cuddles: Adventure time?
Sure, let’s earn some money while we’re here.
Begin adventure montage!

And he finished his quest and went home. See, that wasn’t all that painful to watch. It was actually one of my faster vacation montages. :S

And this literally happened as soon as I got back on the lot.

Goober: Gee, thanks so much for leaving me in stasis at the very end of my third trimester!
Oh, and I may have sent Cuddles to France so that I could hold off for just a little while on Goober’s labor.

Goober: He’s mocking me.
No, I think he’s just trying to figure out how a woman in labor can seem so calm.

Goober: *yawns*
See, totally nonchalant about it. Quite a contrast from Dutchman’s labor earlier.

Oh wait, never mind, there it is.

Gotta love how Stu II just sits there. Although he might just be staring her down because she was in the middle of filling his food dish and she didn’t actually manage to before her water broke. XD

You might have been wondering where Lysk was during all of this? Where else but his favorite place, the home gym?

Cuddles: Hey everybody, I’m totes back from France. Ya miss me? ….Huh, where is everybody…?

Cuddles: Oh, hey Goobs, what’s happening?
Goober: Grrrrr.

Dutchman: Oh, hey honey, you’re home! Hey, wait a minute, Goober, why are you staring at Stu like that?
Goober: Are you two completely dense?!

Dutchman: Oh, that’s right, you’re in labor. Give me just a minute to not freak out to make up for the time you decided to answer the phone and make me drive myself to the hospital when I was in labor! …..Okay, moment is over with. I’ll freak out with you now. CUDDLES! SHE’S IN LABOR!!!!

Dutchman: Oh Boolprop, what do we do? Should we take her to the hospital?! No, I should probably answer my phone instead.
Goober: OKAY, I’M SORRY, JUST DO SOMETHING!
Cuddles: So… does anybody want to know how my trip was? Anybody at all?

Dutchman: There’s not much to do, Goober! Just push!!!
Cuddles: N-nobody cares that I’m back… ;_;

Dutchman: Okay Goober, there’s not enough time to go to the hospital! You’re gonna have to push!
Goober: But I don’t wanna IIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dutchman: On second thought, maybe we should call an ambulance and-
Goober: No, wait Dutch! I think this is-

Goober: 😀
Dutchman: As I was saying, everything is under control!

:S
I was actually expecting a boy. I appled Goober before she was showing, but apparently, the baby resisted the influence. So I came up with something off the top of my head.

Meet Patty Derpington everybody! Traits were rolled, as per usual! It’ll be interesting to have two cousins the same age growing up together in the house.

As you can see, Bear was very concerned about Goober’s labor.
Goober: I hate you all.

Goober: OOOOHHH! Shiny!!!!
Goober, don’t get distracted, you came up here to bitch Lysk out for not being there for the birth of his daughter!

Goober: EVP is right you know. You weren’t there, and you should have been. Everybody else was, even my sister’s asshole husband.
Lysk: In all fairness, I was on a different floor of the house and couldn’t hear you. I didn’t know you were in labor, Goob.

Lysk: Listen, I promise I’ll make it up to you next time, okay. And I hate to ask this, but I’ve been kind of famished lately, not being able to drink from you and…

Lysk: …your blood is just so sweet…

Lysk: Thank you, Goober.
Goober: *dazed*

Goober: Uhhhh….

Goober: What was I up here doing again?
Shame on you, Lysk, hypnotizing Goober in order to kill two birds with one stone. *tsk tsk*

Big surprise there.

After Lysk’s assholiness and Chip’s predictable breakup, we need some cute toddler to balance this chapter out.

Chum: Chum… is… fum…!
Chum is fum, chum is fum… quick! Somebody make her my advertising manager!

That’s where we leave this chapter off. Sorry it took me so long to get out; my wireless has been down at home for a little while and that makes things pretty inconvenient, not to mention I’m constantly busy with school. I will try my damndest to make sure the next chapter comes out quicker than this one did, but with my crazy schedule, I unfortunately can’t make any guarantees.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and thanks for staying with me. Until next time everybody, happy Simming!