Hello dear readers and welcome back to Herping and Derping. I’m sorry that I’ve been gone for a while; school’s a bitch, as I’m sure you all already know. Anyway, I’ll try to be better. I haven’t played this save file in a while and I’m running out of pictures so I’ll actually have to play sims again soon! Fun stuff!
Also, before I go on, I haven’t forgotten about you, Boolprop readers. I am unable to post there anymore though. I’m not sure what happened, but something with their update borked my account so now as soon as I try to log in, I am promptly logged back out and am unable to navigate to anything, not even my messages.
If somebody who still has access to their account would post about this in the legacy thread, I’d be much obliged. I’d hate people to think I just abandoned the forum.
Thanks emotedllama! I saw that you took care of it for me, and I really appreciate it! 😀
When we last left off, this kind of shit was happening ALL. THE. TIME. So now I’m not going to take pictures of it like I did when it was novel and if anything crazy happens from it *cough alien mpreg cough cough* I’ll let you know.
Also, this happened. Not really a big deal, but it is another skill mastered by Dutchie.
Ahhh, Autumn. The leaves are falling. The temperature’s dropping. There’s a wild man-eating clam in the-
Oops. Wrong story. *ahem*
Anyway, I sent the whole family off to the autumn festival because they all had the stir crazy moodlet I thought they needed some bonding time!
He’s already taking after his namesake! *sobs* So gloriously apathetic!
And what else is more appropriate for family fun in the Autumn-time than a pie-eating contest!
Let’s ignore the fact that we can all come up with a billion other activities that seem more appropriate for fall and carry on.
On their marks…
Well. Fine. Be that way. Don’t wait for my cues. *grumbles* Go you little shits.
Squidward: What kind flavor is this even supposed to be?! It tastes like-
Ignore the taste! You’re in a contest Squiddy, you don’t have time to contemplate the palatability of the pie you’re shoving into your face!
The others seem like they’ve got the hang of it at least.
Tina: Woohoo! That’s my babies!
Maybe I should have gotten Tina to participate in the contest… the kids don’t seem nearly as enthusiastic.
Squilliam: No more… I yield, I yield!
Me thinks Squilliam’s been hitting the Skyrim a little too hard, recently.
Also, Squidward is still unconscious in his pie.
Sheldon: Woo! Go Kevin go!
Sheldon, you can’t play favorites like that!
Sheldon: But… he won!
‘Tis true, readers! Kevin is the winner of this contest and the heirship and my heart.
Kevin: Can I go inside now, then? The sunlight burns.
No you little shit.
Oh yeah, and this is the prize… but I promptly forgot about the pie in his inventory and it went bad. Oops.
The kids seemed to be interested in the haunted house, so I indulged them.
Something wrong? You scared?
Squilvia: Not exactly… that shitty pie isn’t sitting quite right.
I’d hold off on the haunted house then if I were you. It’s supposed to be scary, but not explosive-diarrhea scary.
Of course, then this kind of thing happens…
Kevin: Cool! I’m just like Grandma! Now can I please go back inside? The outdoors give me hives. D:
One track mind, this one.
Patty… was this your doing?
While the kids were being cursed, Patty was doing said cursing taking a phone call gathering pumpkins for some later fall fun! We’ll have to start up a pumpkin patch eventually.
Oh, and naturally we took a greeting card photo! That’s the whole main family right there, folks! Enjoy it, this is probably the only time you’ll ever see all of them in one shot because there’s so damn many of them!
Back at home, with pie still on their faces, the kids began carving their jack-o-lanterns.
Squilliam: What are you making, Squidward?
Squidward: A tombstone. So that I can bury my hopes and dreams.
Squilliam: …What a baby.
Squilvia: So, why exactly are you carving your pumpkin out here instead of inside with our brothers again, Kevin?
Kevin: *singing nervously* I know of a place where you never get harmed, a magical place with magical charm, indoors, indoors, inddddoooorrrrsss…. Iwannabeindoors *twitchy eyes*
Squilvia: Well that confirms it.
Squilvia: My family is batshit crazy.
Squilliam: Just a minute.
Squilliam: There! Magnifique!
Well, you going to show us, oh-so-cultured one?
Squilliam: I’ll have the big reveal later.
Kevin doesn’t seem to mind showing us his finished product now.
Kevin: JUST LET ME GO INSIDE PLEASE!!!
Dutchman seems to have no qualms about the outdoors, so she does a lantern as well.
It’s… decent I suppose.
Well, would you look at that. Chummy’s preggers to an old guy.
Kevin: Why do you do this to me?! I want to go inside!!!
You rolled a want to rake the leaves. Anybody else doubting this kid dislikes the outdoors? He’s always outside!
And now, for some sad news…
Chip. D: R.I.P. Chip. You were a good Sim, a beloved Forever Alone. You will be missed.. but not by your spouse because you never had one! Hahaha!
I’m kidding. I really will miss Chip though. 😦
More happy. Extended family bonding time! Everybody with me now: awwwww!
And, more extended family bonding time here! No, I’m not talking about Donut Derpington here, who Sheldon’s about to eat, I’m talking about-
-one of the triplets, Pearl (I think). I really don’t pay attention to those ones, sorry. XD
Sheldon: So, centipedes in a jar, huh?
Pearl (possibly Puff): Cool story, literal Bro.
Kevin made enough of a fuss that I sent Squilliam out to rake up the yard.
Squilliam: I’m too sophisticated for this! I should be inside, composing a violin concerto, or painting a masterpiece! Not this… grunt work!
Make sure you get that spot over there, too!
Squilliam: EVP… *grumble grumble* evil… *grumble grumble* rain… *grumble grumble* gnomes…
Maybe that insane trait got passed on to the fourth generation after all…
Sheldon: So, you’ve really never had a sim play this game before?
Nope, I really haven’t. I haven’t’ screwed around with a lot of things in this game, actually.
Sheldon: Then I will take it upon myself to master this art, in your honor.
Sheldon: …shit. Missed.
Sheldon: Huzzah! Victory! Ahhh!
What’s up now?
Sheldon: I didn’t realize how scary this game was! These gnomes are freaky!!!
Sheldon: Back to hell, evil gnomes!
Not sure if this is a good score or not? XD Oh well, he tried at the very least.
Kevin: Look at the happy people, inside their happy house! No outdoor world for them, they stay inside all the time! Happy happy happy…
Dutchman: BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!!!
Kevin: OMG IT’S THAT EVIL TREE THAT LOOKED AT ME IT’S EVOLVED THE ABILITY TO WALK AND IT’S AFTER ME!!!!
Really Dutchman, really? Scaring your grandkids.
Dutchman: I don’t exclude anybody from my scares. Not even family.
Cold, Dutch. Cold.
Later that evening, Dutchman got her just desserts.
Dutchman: Oh dammit.
Dutchman: MOTHER OF MAXIS WHY?!?!
Now it’s my turn to laugh. Heh. Heheh.
Dutchman: Hey, stinky daughter-in-law! Be my BFF? *throws potion*
Tina: I feel really close to you, Dutchman. You’re, like, my best friend now!
And this happened thanks to Dutchman’s alchemy skill. Because my sims never make friends naturally unless conversing with their soulmates (and sometimes not even then, Patty *cough cough*).
Spooky day! And how should the family spend the day, hmmm?
Kevin: What the hell?! I’m outside again!!!
Can it, Kevin. 😛
Squilliam: Voilà! I’ve created my masterpiece!
Yeah I’ll let you know when the museums are looking for sandcastle pieces.
Squilvia: I’m with you on this, EVP, I don’t think he dislikes the outdoors as much as he says. No kid who hates the outdoors that much would risk sticking his hands down in the sand like that… no kid!
Yeah. He’s having a little too much fun.
THAT’S the face of a kid who hates the outdoors.
Squilliam: Good Galileo what fresh hell is this?!
Squilvia: Woo! Made a sandman.
I can’t wait to see your snowpeople.
Squidward… ahh, quiet, almost always unconscious Squidward. He enjoys the simple pleasures.
Squilliam: Heheh… If I push hard enough, he’ll fly up to the moon and my competition for heir will be reduced!
Oh Squilliam, don’t be that kid…
Hey, who’s that looking spiffy in a new outfit?
Could it be? The cowardly witch Patty?
Patty: Hey! My first lines this chapter!
Yep, it’s Patty.
Damn it. I forgot to take off the braces. XD Oh well, I guess Patty will be one of those life-long braces people. 😛
Patty: THAT’S not normal.
Yeah, I added a few… witchy touches to your wardrobe. I mean who else am I going to use the skeleton hand on?
What up, Squilvia?
Squilvia: I’m recruiting these leaves to be my evil minions, for when I take over the world.
Squilvia: They like me!
Squilvia: YES! Take me as your leader! Make me one of you! Muahahahah!
Squilliam: You think if I buried her under those leaves, she’d get lost and I’d have a better chance at heirship.
Oh yeah. I took this shot because they’re having a feast party!
Dude. WTF. We’re throwing our OWN party, thank you. So no. We have better stuff going on. Pssh.
ajflksdjf;l! First time that’s happened. Now, onto the party…
The gang’s all here! Poor Used… she looks so old. 😦
OMIGERD. It’s Fred. Dun dun dun!!!
Niiiice, Squilliam. Feigning love for your siblings to pull the wool over their eyes. Very clever.
Erm… to get Sheldon out of the house in order to prevent confrontation, Mr. Super Sperm himself is taking the quads trick-or-treating.
Squilvia seems a bit confused as to which way the car is.
Squilvia: Actually, I’m just watching that woman right there…
Squilvia: I don’t think she’s doing it right…
Ignore her and head out with your brothers and father, kiddo.
Sheldon: Hmm. Something’s missing.
I think I know what it is!
Squilvia: Really? I bunny rabbit? This is what the future evil dictator of the world wears to trick-or-treat.
I don’t see why not. I mean it helps you to come off as weak and innocent. And then, when you’ve lulled your victims into a false sense of security…
Squilvia: Clever! Nice choice, EVP!
Squilliam: Madam, I realize that I am not in costume, but it’s only because I’m too sophisticated for such nonsense. Would you give me candy regardless?
Well that’s a good answer. XD
Sheldon: WTF. I’m a cowplant?!
Squilliam: Oh boy oh boy oh boy. I can use this to send Kevin into a sugar coma and secure my heirship!
So far you’ve been all talk, no action, so I’m not all that concerned at this point.
Kevin: Ma’am, can you spare some candy for a little gnome?
ERMIGERD KEVIN STAP. TOO CUTE. *DIES*
While Sheldon is starting to think like a cowplant and checks out the adjacent bush, little criminal Squidward gets his share of candy.
Squidward: I’ll spare your house in my robbing spree if you give me some candy.
And superior Squilliam finally got changed into his costume while his sister gets her candy.
Squilliam: A gladiator. Strong. Superior. Just like me. A fitting costume.
And Squilvia got a little something extra. XD I told her, the bunny costume works!
And after that the family was done with trick-or-treating. I mean, we got our fill of it. Maybe whenever there’s fewer kids in a few generations, eh?
Kevin: Well, that was fun, aside from Squilliam threatening to kill us/bury us/send us to the moon all night.
I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.
Kevin: Wow, this candy is SOOOO good! I can’t believe Squilliam didn’t want it!
Well the feast party seems a little bit boring to me but the guests seem to be enjoying it. Also, I guess vampire dude’s costume party was a bust so he ended up at mine. Hahaheheharharhar.
And the kids got to hang out with some of their extended family.
Fred: BOO! SHELDON STINKS! THIS PARTY STINKS! BOOOOO!
Fred, why are you bitter? You got the girl!
Fred: Two thumbs down!!!
But… you finally got invited to a party here this time…
Sheldon: Fred! Where are you going?!
Fred: EVP… she was right!!! I-I’m sorry!!!!
Sheldon: I think Squilvia was right.
Sheldon: This whole family is batshit crazy.
And that’s where this chapter ends! Next up: teenagerhood for the kiddos! What will happen? Who will be heir Kevin? Will I remember to get these guys out of their costumes?
Stay tuned, and thanks for sticking with Herping and Derping! Happy Simming!