Hi! Welcome back to Herping and Derping! Last time, our beloved Herp passed away too soon due to an accidental fire. And that was pretty much the gist of the chapter. Will more happen this time? We shall see!
Well, somebody’s got to clean up Grandpa…
Yeah, I’m a cruel, sick person. I get that a lot.
In other news, Penny is having a good day. Peaches is now… well, not real, exactly… erm, not a doll anymore? Yeah, I’m going with that.
Squilliam guards Used Napkin. He doesn’t trust Dutchman all that much.
And Chip? Well, when he’s not cleaning up Grandpa Herp…
…he’s – um, what exactly is it that you’re doing?
Chip: Duh. I’m a racecar driver.
Chip: *whispers dramatically* Vroom. Vroom vroom.
Chip: OH NO! A PEDESTRAIN! SCRREEEEECH!!!! Ah, nuts, hit her anyway. Sorry Grandma Dina!
You know, his sister is the one who’s evil, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned out to have a little evil in him as well.
Peaches is creepin’ hard. I think it’s the eyes. Those cold, unblinking button eyes. *shudders*
Typical day at the Derpington house. Ghost dogs, a knocked up Hesper, and a neglected Leroy.
Oh, and Leedle comes to leave some unfinished evil plans words of wisdom for his daughter.
Penny: Yes, father… MUAHAHAHAHA!
She’s even got Leedle’s evil laugh. *sob* she really is his little girl.
Oh, wait, it’s just a birthday.
I take back what I said about Peaches earlier. Yeah, the creepiest eyes in the household are definitely Dutchman’s.
Can’t forget about the boring normal twin.
And, like all of the children, both Used Napkin and Dutchman have their mother’s hair.
See? She’s pretty creepy. In fact, she reminds me of…
Oh, well, her mother likes her, at least.
Dutchman: *ghostly goo-goo-ga-ga*
I suppose she isn’t too terribly scary when she’s trapped I mean when she’s snug in her high chair. Besides, she’s not evil. The one we’ve really got to worry about is Penny. She might just kill us all.
Lol, stuff like this pops up all the time. Wumbo and Pat really hate each other now!
Also, Wumbo doesn’t pay child support. XD
Hesper: *summons Genie*
Hesper: You don’t look very magical.
Genie: These are my street clothes!
Shhhh, I think we already made that joke!
Hesper: Okay, that’s better.
Genie: So, what is it that you wish for, pretty lady? A little bit of genie in you? Because I can handle that, free of charge. 😉
Hesper: Actually, I was hoping that you could revive my dead husband for me. Dina’s going to die soon and I’d rather not raise five children by myself.
Genie: Well that’s not as much fun but if that’s what you want… *sigh* fine.
Genie: Leedle! I summon thee!!!!
Genie: Hocus pocus! Abracadabra! All that jazz! Your husband is alive… for a price. Muahahahahahah! *disappears*
Leedle: *not playable*
Oh shit. EA games…
Hesper: Leedle! You’re back!
But wait… why are you only in a relationship and unable to get engaged and/or married? And why can’t he move in?!?!
EA!!!!!!! WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!!!!!! DAMN YOU AND YOUR GLITCHES. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.
Just then, Dina decides to kick the bucket, scarring young Dutchman.
Dina: Huh. Well, this is interesting.
Grim: You may have revived Leedle, but I will reclaim a Derpington today! Muahahaha! Also, I hear you have fried chicken. I canz have fried chickenz plz?
Grim: Ah, I see you’re killing them off younger and younger.
SHE WAS BORN THAT WAY, I SWEAR.
Grim: No matter. I’m not here for her anyway, I’m here for Dina.
Penny obviously doesn’t fear the reaper.
Penny: Can I hold your scythe? Please?
Grim: Such a strange… yet interesting… child. I may just make you my bride in the after-
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, GRIM. Pervert.
Hesper: Wow, I just had the strangest dream! Leedle was alive again and Dina died and my daughter was betrothed to Death himself!
Uhhhh, yeah. About that.
Things were so glitchy with Leedle that I just ended up quitting without saving. Also, EA needs to suck my big hairy non-existent balls.
Hesper: Oh, well. Thanks for ruining all of my hopes and dreams. You’re a bitch.
Don’t blame me, blame EA. They’re the ones who released an expansion pack with a glitchy genie.
Dina who is still alive because I quit without saving is getting some quality time in with her grandchildren, now that she knows her time is short.
Dutchman seems to like Dina a lot. Too bad it’ll be a short relationship that they have.
Hesper needed a pick me up so I let her go out and play in the sprinkler. (read: I was ignoring her and she decided to do this. Also, I forgot I left the sprinkler on.)
I still think that she’s super cute while she’s pregnant. I luffs her.
Dina: This seems oddly familiar…
Ahhhh, Dina. D:
Dina: Yeah, I definitely remember this.
Simultaneously because grandma dying isn’t bad enough…
This lady shows up. Yep. The social worker.
We lost the pets. D:
Hesper: This day sucks.
Honestly, I’m more upset about the pets than I am about Dina. I haven’t had a social worker visit (well, accidently at least, I have done it on purpose) many years that I’ve been playing the Sims games. I can only remember a couple of instances ever.
Grim: I’ve come back to reclaim Penny as my child-wife. Also. Dina’s dying.
Dina: Alright, Grim, I’ll make you a deal. You can have my soul as long as you don’t put the moves on my granddaughter until after she’s legal.
Grim: Fair enough. Come along.
Dina: My last request is that the kids be taken care of. Please, please, Voice, don’t let Hesper do anything stupid.
I… can’t make any promises…
After Dina departed, Chip decided it was his turn to socialize with Grim.
Grim: These children don’t fear me… I must be losing my touch…
And now, both of our founders have passed on. R.I.P., Dina and Herp. You both will be missed dearly.
Here is a little shrine I made for them in the crypt. Herp has beauty supplies because he was in the stylist career once upon a time, and Dina has make-up as well as a charisma book, because beauty and her career in politics (and schmoozing) were important to her.
Now Hesper is the only adult in the house, with two kids, two toddlers, and another child on the way.
Holy shit I’m crazy. At least we don’t have to worry about the pets any more (but I still miss them D:).
Hesper: Don’t worry, Dina, I’ll take care of my babies. Isn’t that right, Usey? Yes it is, yes it is!
If I were Dina, I wouldn’t trust somebody who named their child Used Napkin either.
Hesper: Speaking of babies….
Hesper: HOSPITAL. NOW.
Sorry, Hes’, you shouldn’t leave the kids at home alone.
Shing. Sparkle sparkle.
And it’s ANOTHER normal girl.
Her name is Goober, after the goofy peanut.
Oh well, at least she has good traits. Still, a moody genius may be irritating.
Hesper: I’m still mad at you because you glitched up my husband.
Things keep on getting weirder and weirder…
Goober, the floating baby, for instance, is the weirdest thing I’ve seen this chapter.
Wait – scratch that. This is the weirdest thing I’ve seen all chapter.
Penny…. what were you doing?
Penny: Chemistry! Now shhhh. I’m having my birthday!
Hesper: Yay! Penny’s getting older! Wait. That means I’m getting old. I don’t want to be old!
Probably one of the best grow-up faces of all time. The singe marks give it that extra flair.
I guess she burned off her eyebrows, too. Huh.
Taking after her grandfather Herp, apparently.
Chip: It’s my birthday too! Don’t forget about me!
That is probably one of the best derp faces ever. I think Wumbo may be the only one who has you beat, kid.
Although that one is pretty good too. XD
And another one of Leedle’s (and, actually, Dina’s) traits showing up in the younger generation.
Chip got a makeover, because it really wouldn’t do for him to have the same haircut as his father. They’d look too similar and Hesper might cry.
Some of his mother is in there (note: the hair) but he’s a lot of Leedle.
Penny is an interesting blend of her parents. But a lot of her mother. This was to showcase her outfit.
And these to showcase her tattoos.
She is so super cute I just want to squee.
And look! Sparkly shoes! ajsflkshghg.
We bought a cowplant, because… well, cowplant!
I named him Curly. Because Curly is the name I give to cowplants.
Hesper! Don’t tease Curly! That may end up biting you in the arse one day.
Well, Hesper really didn’t want to, but she had her birthday anyway.
Hesper: I feel so old. D:
It’s okay, huh, you’re still adorable.
Hesper: NO. YOU LIE.
I guess she didn’t believe me. *sigh* I hate that pop-up.
Remember Goopy? The one product of the short-lived marriage of Pat and Wumbo and a night of frolicking in the hot tub? Well, he’s a young adult now. *sobs* My babies are getting so old.
Herp’s genes live on.
Chip and Penny have to help their mother out a lot, as there are three little girls that need taking care of. Penny doesn’t seem happy about it.
Penny: This one stinks! I didn’t sign up for diaper changing.
Penny: *sigh* I’m only just now a teenager and I’m already having to be a parent to these kids. When will I get to have any fun.
I’m sorry, hun. If it makes you feel better, I think you’re doing a really good job with them.
OMG! HERP! You came for a visit!
Herp: Well, I couldn’t neglect my favorite family, after all! Hahaha!
Death seems to have made you eccentric.
Herp: Well, here I go over to the main house…
Herp: Walking through walls is pretty convenient, you know. Also, no more walking! I can float everywhere! It’s a lazy man’s dream! 😀
Herp: Hi, Hesper, you’re doing a wonderful job with the kids. We’re so proud of you.
Hesper: Yeah, that’s great Herp, but Dutchman still refuses to walk.
It’s okay, Hesper. She’ll get it eventually.
Cuddles: Do you have any twos?
Chip: Go fi- hey, what the hell, man, we’re playing chess, not go fish!
Cuddles: Whoops, guess I forgot again. Heheh.
Will Chip ever teach Cuddles how to play chess? Will Hesper crack under the pressure of her midlife crisis and having to raise five children alone? Will Penny take over the world? Possibly find out all of this and more in the next chapter of Herping and Derping, coming in June to a blog near you! Until then, happy simming everybody!