Hello, and welcome back to H&D! I have to say, I’m really enjoying playing with this family, and writing this story. I’ve gotten so much positive feedback already! It’s really encouraging, and I appreciate it, guys. 🙂
Anyway, enough of that. Let’s see what’s been going on with Herp and Dina…
When we last left off, Herp, our founder, had taken a job in the stylist career, because of some crazy idea I had to let my sims *gasp* actually do what they want! Herp met Dina Caliente via his work, and the two soon entered into a romantic relationship. Herp asked Dina to move in, as he was in a bit of a financial situation, and she said yes. Dina had just had a party, during which she’d ended her relationship with Mortimer Goth. Herp, during all of this, was asleep in front of the town’s elementary school, permanently scarring the youth of Legacy Island.
Dina was still feeling pretty buzzed after her (mildly) successful party.
Dina: Break, break break dance! Break break break dance! Break break break dance here we goooooo-oooohhhh-ooohhhh!*
*If you pick up on that reference I will love you forever.*
Dina: Woo hoo! I am loving lot living!
Epic Voice Person (EVP… aka, me): I’ll just ask you again about that in a few days… we’ll see if you still love lot living.
And yes, Derp did eventually come home. Mostly due to the principal’s threats to arrest him.
Herp: All I did was look at a couple of kids… They’re cute…
EVP: 0.0 Please don’t ever say that again. It was really creepy and it makes me doubt your ability to head this legacy.
Herp bounces back quickly after seeing Dina.
Dina: Hey, Herpy, I missed you.
Herp: I missed you too, Dina…
Everybody say it with me: D’awww….
If you don’t ship Derp, then I just don’t understand you. They’re adorable.
Herp thinks so, too, which is why he decided to take things to the next level.
Herp: Dina, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…
Herp: Well, you know, since we’re living together now, and, we have sexy times together… plus, I really, really like you…. how about we make things official? What do you say? Will you be my girlfriend?
Herp and I both interpreted that as a yes.
Herp: Sexy time?
Have I mentioned how much I love this couple? Yes? Well, it’s only because I really mean it. These two are so cute together it makes me want to vomit.
And I mean that in the best possible way.
The next morning, we find Herp, once more, being a weirdo.
Herp: Sneak, sneak sneak…
EVP: Herp, what are you doing?
Herp: I’m sneaking up on Dina. Now shhh, you’ll blow my cover!
EVP: I’m pretty sure you already blew your cover, what with your “sneak, sneak” business. Besides, you don’t have much of a cover anyway. You look like a beached whale. Hey, why are you sneaking up on Dina, anyway?
Herp: I dunno, I’m just mean like that. Now shhhh!
EVP: *zips lips*
Herp: Heh heh…
Herp: Booga booga booga!
Dina: Herp!!! You scared me so badly I melded into the wall! You’re an ass!!!!
Dina: Oh, how embarrassing… I’m so glad that nobody cool saw this…
Ah, nothing like your average day at the Derpington household… Herp painting, Dina exercising, and – hey, wait a minute!
…And what exactly do you think you’re doing, buddy?
Dina: There was a creepy mailman behind me just a moment ago, wasn’t there?
EVP: Yes, but he’s gone now, Dina, not to worry… And if he tries that again, he won’t be coming back.
Dina: Oh, what a relief. I love Herp and all, but he creeps me out so much already. If there was a creepy mailman staring at me all the time, too, I don’t know what I would do!
Dina: Oh, Plumbbob, just thinking about it makes me feel sick…
EVP: Dina, are you feeling alright there…?
EVP: Maybe we should get you checked out…
Dina: Whew. *wipes mouth off* No, no need for that. I’m sure I’m fine. Yep, I’m perfectly okay. I bet I just have a stomach bug. Yeah, that’s it…
EVP: Okay, then, whatever you say… 😉
While at work that day, Herp decided to be a good guy and repair the computer. Plus, I was bored and needed a laugh (apparently, Mortimer needed one, too).
Mortimer: Heheh, moron. And to think, Dina broke it off with me for this!
Herp: I’ll show him… *grumble grumble*
EVP: Did you show him?
Herp: My life sucks.
EVP: Awww, it’s okay Herp… *pat pat pat*
He gives me the saddest looks… I can’t tell if it’s just because his face is misshapen or if he’s legit always depressed.
I sent him home in an attempt to cheer him up. Plus, I wanted to laugh at him some more.
EVP: It’s not my fault, Herp! You just crack the best faces ever.
Herp spent the rest of the day painting, because, yeah, at some point, we actually have to start working towards his LTW.
Dina was getting all kinds of athletic skill related wants because she needs athletic skill to get a promotion (she had a job in the criminal career when she moved in). So, I sent her for a jog to the beach.
Which resulted in this Bay Watch kind of thing.
Now we just need a David Hasselhoff Sim…
What was she running to, you might ask?
Dina: Ah, epic water slide of awesomeness. We finally meet.
Dina: WEEEEEEEE! 😀
Okay, I’m definitely buying a water slide when these two have more money. That was hilarious to watch.
When Dina got home later that evening, Herp decided that there was something he wanted to ask her (and yeah, he hasn’t showered yet. I told him to several times but he didn’t listen, so *shrug*. Plus, it’s funnier to look at him this way, although he was funny looking to begin with…).
Herp: Dina, I love you…
Dina: Aww, Herp, I love you, too!
Herp: I’m glad. Because there’s something I want to ask you…
Dina: Oh shit.
Herp: Will you marry me?
Dina: Oh shit, how much did he spend on that?!
Dina: I’m sorry, Herp, but you’re moving to fast for me. I love you, but… I can’t marry you right now. I’m sorry.
Herp: Oh… That’s okay… 😥
It’ll be okay, Herp, we’ll ask her again later! 😦
Herp finally decided to take a shower after that. He still looks really sad. 😦
He wasn’t too upset to not sleep in the bed with her that night.
Dina: I sense some kind of disturbance…
Dina: Oh. Baby.
EVP: Are you starting to rethink that rejected proposal, now?
Herp: Sneak, sneak, sneak…
EVP: At it again, are you?
Herp: I need a pick-me-up…
Somehow, I don’t think that scaring your pregnant girlfriend through the wall is going to be much of a pick-me-up, but okay…
Herp: So, Dina, now that we’re going to have a family and all, I was wondering if you had rethought my offer…
Herp: …And if you would marry me?
EVP: *crosses fingers* Please say yes, please say yes…
She said yes this time!
Herp finally looks happy, too!
Okay, not really, but you get the idea…
Herp and Dina were married on the beach in mid-day (the same day, before commitment-issues Dina could change her mind).
Dina: Herp, I never thought that I would settle down, especially not with a guy like you, but after getting to know you, I’ve realized that you’re an excellent man, lover, and you’ll make a great husband (even though I don’t appreciate you scaring me). I love you and I never want to let you go.
Dina: With this ring, I promise to always stay by your side and be faithful, and to make sure that if you ever get electrocuted again, you take a shower immediately instead of wallowing in your own ashes. *slides ring on finger*
Herp: Dina, I never thought that a guy like me would be able to find love, much less with a woman that looks like you. I’m so happy that I was able to find not only my lover in you, but also my best friend.
Herp: With this ring, I promise to always love you, to be there to support you and our family, and to only sneak up behind you and scare you if I’m in a pissy mood. Plus, I’ll give you a warning.
And so, Dina Caliente became Mrs. Dina Derpington.
Immediately after that, Dina went to the combination bookstore/spa for a quick massage, as she had the wish for one (it was only $50, so I thought hey, why not indulge her?).
Herp also followed her there, where he picked up a pregnancy book (also wish-related).
Herp is still working his job as a stylist. At this point, I got a little bored and decided to do something that my friend does when she plays stylist sims…
…Give ridiculous makeovers!
Random Dude: Oh my gosh! I love it! *squee*
He loved it so much, in fact, that Herp finally got promoted to level 2.
For some reason, at around this time, Dina decided to ride home from her massage in a limo. She was a once star celebrity due to impressing Mortimer (when I was trying to have that party…), and because she married Herp, she ended up becoming a 4-star Renowned VIP and Herp became a 3-star B-Lister. Thus, the limo.
Dina: Could you explain to me why I get to ride in a limo but we can’t even afford to have a house with 4 closed-in walls?
EVP: Nah, Sim logic baffles me…
Herp: The color was a comb-in, and it was non-permanent, in case you don’t like it.
Herp’s boss: ZOMG, I love it!
Yeah, Herp gave a ridiculous makeover to the other stylist…
Ah, we once again find ourselves at another typical night at the Derpington household. Dina exercising, and Herp eating leftover burnt waffles.
Wait, what’s this? Somebody’s going out? What could it mean?
Yeah, that’s right, Herp’s been invited to a party!
Random Dude: Still rocking my awesome makeover!
Herp: I’m sexy and I know it.
For some reason, the party’s dress code was swimwear, even though there wasn’t a pool or hot tub to be found. Actually, we couldn’t find the party’s host, either, so I sent Herp back home.
Meanwhile, back at the house, a paparazzi showed up.
Paparazzi: Oh yeah, work it, baby!
Herp: Alright, who’s the weirdo?
Paparazzi: *Takes notes on Dina’s sleeping technique*
Then, Paparazzi decided to turn on the stereo.
Dina: What. The. Hell.
I turned the stereo off, so Paparazzi got bored and decided to kick over the trashcan. Which pissed off hot-headed Dina.
Dina: What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t you know that we’re trying to sleep! I could get you arrested for breaking and entering!
Paparazzi: Well, technically, you don’t even have a front door, so…
Dina: And you want to know something else, too? You dance like a bloated llama. Yeah, I saw you.
Paparazzi: Oh no you didn’t biatch! My dancing is incredible.
Dina: I don’t care, just GTFO.
When it became clear that Paparazzi wasn’t going to leave, I built them a closed-in house. And they only had $70 to their name afterwards.
The paparazzi decided to do this for the rest of the night…
He would knock over the trash can…
Then would pick it back up and repeat.
He did this for a long time, before I finally got the popup of him excusing himself to leave.
Dina: This pregnancy stuff isn’t so bad…
Dina: Except maybe for that birth part. *gulp*
Herp: I’m so excited to meet our baby, Dina! Do you think it’ll be a boy, or a girl?
Herp: I don’t mind either way, as long as it’s healthy and has all of its fingers and toes.
D’awww, I love Derp.
That evening, they enjoyed stargazing together, because Herp had a wish to. I love these two together. ❤
Dina: Oh SHIT. D:
Herp: Breathe, Dina, just keep breathing! * panics*
Dina: Just get me to the hospital!
Herp: Wow, can you believe it, Dina, in just a few hours, we’ll be parents!!!! 😀
Dina: *still in labor*
And, it’s a girl! Meet Wumbo Derpington, everybody!
I believe that Wumbo is excitable and a little bit neurotic. As for her favorites, well, I didn’t write them down, so we’ll have to see next time!
Herp: I’m a daddy…
What does our next chapter hold in store for the Derpingtons? Will Herp make a good father? Will Dina crack under the pressure of being a wife and mother? Will Wumbo’s favorites ever be revealed?
Tune in next time for the next installment of H&D! Until then, happy simming!